The Campfire Song song
by RosencrantzGuild
Summary: nonsense fic. Hogwarts has a trip in a france forest and draco and harry must sing a song. Mentions of LM/HP. Dead voldemort. AD/GW/RW/HG Bashing. Slytherin friendly. Rebellious Harry Almost friendly Draco


_**A/N: IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ TO UNDERSTAND STORY!**_

_So i FINNALY got to making a HP fic!_

_YAY!_

_Definately a nonsense fic (not crack) soooo this is a warning! Haha i dont know where this came from :) As maybe some of you see Spongebob is a influence in this fic. This takes place in his Fith year and he already defeated the dark lord when he killed him in the graveyard. Harry is married to Lucius Malfoy and is friends with the slytherins. Harry is NOT friends with ron, hermione, ginny. They only want him for money and fame and think he's dark and harry found out. Dumbledore, some of the weasley (not the twins,bill and charlie) bashing. Lucius got Harry's eyes fixed as a birthday present._

_Disclamier: No, i dont own these characters. I just use them for my own sick pleasure :)_

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><p><strong>THE CAMPFIRE SONG SONG<strong>

That damn twinkle. Harrys left eye twitched and his nostril flared.

Harry was going through that time every teen went through. Puberty. And it wasn't nice to him. He was moody, snappish, hungry CONSTANTLY, and rebellious.

He changed his appereance too. Over summer break ( with lessons from Mr. Malfoy) he learned wandless magic. He cast imperious over the whole family and was now living like a king.

But anyway, he got Vernon to give him his credit card and learned how to forge his signiture. On his 15th birthday he took a trip to muggle London. He got piercings and tattoo's at a shop called Needles and Cigarettes™ which led to leaving with: 6 piercings in his right ear, 3 on his left, a piercing on his right eyebrow, and a small but pretty nose piercing. He also got some tattoos: a green black and white king cobra, the tail started at the base of Harry's right wrist and the body wound up his arm and the head went around his neck and ended in the middle of his chest with the mouth open in a silent hiss. On his left arm a barbed wire went around his bicep and on the wrist was a violin and a snitch. On his left pec was the japanese characters for snake, truth, and peace.

Next he got his hair done ( what's the point of nice jewelry if your hair is fucked up) at a solon called Bad Bitchez Only™ which he left with slightly curly but blue-green-purple tinted hair which shimmered in the summer sun. He gotten appreciative glances but knew his look wasn't complete yet.

His clothes were still crap and he was NOT going anywhere anymore with Duddley's freakin hand-me-downs. He strolled into a store called Rags over Ritches™ and took his time looking through clothes but not finding anything that made him feel sexy until he walked to the back of the gigantic store. He looked through the racks and found several shirts, tops, jeans, and shorts that were to his liking with some footwear and went to the dressing rooms.

Oh. He _really _liked this store. Everything showed off his curved body percectly and Lucius was gunna cream his pants.

The shirts were showing of his lean form and the pants showed his ass of in the most delicious way possible without being naked. So he bought the beautiful items with daydreams about breaking his husband with his fellatio skills, licking his lips with anticipation but dettered when he remembered that old scutter Dumbledore pratically forbading Harry from coming in contact with Lucius during the summer so he had to wait.

So Harry entered his Fifth year looking like a dark haired badass angel and quickly became the object all the hoes wanted to bed. And the first to try was one Ginerva Weasley.

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"Harry! Oh Harry! I heard about you and that Death Eater git Malfoy! How in the high HEAVENS did you get sucked into that?" She said all this in a high pitched squeal that reminded Harry of a strangled seagull. All through her rant Harry didnt respond. He merely shook her off and started to walk away but the girl was oblivious to his obvious hatred of her company.

"Harry…I dont mind that your married…we can still be together." She said the last part in a whisper then proceded to push her barely there bossom unto his arm. Harry was being pushed quickly to his breaking point and was about to wandlessly crucio the girl when the famous cold drawl of a Malfoy made itself known, "Wooow. The Weaselette just can't can't keep her legs closed can she? Ahhh like they say like mother like daughter." The rest of the slytherins with Draco snickered as Ginny turned bright red and Harry laughed with the rest of them.

"Harry! You're not going let them talk to me like that are you!" The smug look she shot at Draco made him laugh harder. Did the girl really not know he wanted her head on a platter? "Ginny, I hate you with my heart. Did you know that?" The incredulous look on her face was enough to set the group in a fit of fullblown laughter, which was rather unslytherin but who could blame them.

They walked away and Harry and Draco locked arms then looked back at Ginny who had tears running down her face and a confused look on.

They laughed all the way to the great hall.

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And now here they were and Harry pissed off, not only has Dumbledore been twinkling at him the entire breakfast, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione were loudly talking about faggots and how they should be locked away from the world in Azkaban so the normal people can live how they're supposed to. Everyone else rolled their eyes at the trios' idiocy.

They were slowly eating away at his patience so when Dumbledore cleared his throat for an announcement Harry inwardly sighed in relief.

"Students! Now as you all know, our very own Harry Malfoy-Potter defeated Voldemort," at that he waited till the claps and cheers and the calls of faggot and homo(the idiot trio) ended before continuing his speech "But he has also showed us house unity by getting along with and marrying a slytherin, the gryffindor enemy." Harry notice Dumbledore lose his twinkle as he said this and smirked.

The old man was very admant about Harry refusing Lucius proposal but Harry told the old man to sod of so he can do what he wants for once.

"So we, the staff of Hogwarts, have decided to follow young Malfoy-Potter's footsteps and try to unite the houses further. We have decided to take the whole school the October on a two week trip to the Foret de la Lumiere forest in France. Gryffindor to Slytherin and Hufflepuff to Ravenclaw." As that was said the Great Hall erupted in to shouts of displeasure. "QUIET!" The hall quieted imidiatley. Most have not ever heard Dumbledore raise his voice like that.

"Now when I call your name that will be your partner for the trip." Dumblebore started listing names and as far as Harry could tell the names were chosen at random.

Finnaly he heard his name.

"Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy."

The two looked at each other and smirked. This would be a nice trip. Beside him he heard Ron snort. "I bet they rigged it so they could be together." The other two nodded in agreement and Harry rolled his eyes. Would they ever grow up?

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The month passed by quickly, with Harry and Draco at the top of their classess, much to Hermione's dismay. Draco joked that hanging out with the two youngest Weasley's was getting to her brain and laughed when they realized all three heard them.

The day of the trip came and everyone was excited.

They heads of the houses called everyone together then apparated to the location in the could see why it was called the Light Forest it positively sparkeled and it took his breath away.

Draco gripped his arm, smiled at him, then led him to their tent.

Draco charmed it to have a running hot water bath and one king sized bed. Harry charmed it to always stay warm. Once everything was done they made it so no one could enter without their permission.

Once everything was done and they rested for a bit, they went outside. It was already dark and everyone was around the fire and they sat down also. Unfortunatley it was next to the three they hated the most. Ginny sneered at them and asked rather loudly if Harry liked having an affair with his husband's child. Everything went quiet and Harry's and Draco's eyes widened.

Harry was taken aback. On one hand he was happy Ginny had gotten the picture. On the other he was confused as to why she took it so hard. Sigh guess the saying ' hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' was right.

Then he got mad. Ginny had no right trying to humiliate him.

"Ginny I would never spread my legs for another man but you wouldnt know anything about that would you? I mean being a sex addict is a serious disease," he put his hand on her arm and gave her a serious look as if talking to a crazy person " if you resort to shagging _Ron_ for sex then you obviously have a problem." He sagley nodded his head and the forest roared with laughter and two youngest Weasleys flushed bright red.

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Everyone was having a good time and then came the time for singing. Seamus and Blaise sang Lotus Flower Bomb by Wale and Dean and Theodore rapped Im going in by Lil Wayne. When everyone stopped laughing the next pair was called.

"Harry Malfoy Potter and Draco Malfoy!" It was quiet when they got on stage and Harry could tell they were waiting to see what the pair would come up with. Surely it would top all others. Draco and Harry conversed on the song they should sing and they came up with the perfect solution.

Draco and Harry spelled a banjo and a drum set on stage. Harry had a mic and started to play the banjo while Draco played the drums."We call this, the Campfire Song song" And Harry started to sing:

**Lets gather round the campfire and sing the campfire song**

**The C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song**

**And if you dont think that we can sing it faster then youre wrong**

**But it would help if you just sing alllloooooong**

**Draco sings: bum bum buuuum**

**(Faster pace) **

**C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song (song)**

**C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song (song)**

**And if you dont think that we can sing it faster then your wrong**

**But it would help if you just sing aloooong**

**C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song DRACO!**

**(Draco) Song! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E**

**RON! (ron stayed quiet) GOOD!**

**It'll heeeeeelp**

**(Draco on drums) DODODODO**

**It'll heeeeeeeeeeeelp **

**IF YOU JUST SING ALOOOOOOOOOOONG!**

**(Wails on banjo) (Draco smashes the drum on Harrys head)**

**OHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEAAAAAH!**

"Well wasn't that relaxing?" It stayed quiet for all of two seconds before everyone was either laughing or clapping on their feet.

There was no doubt: They were the best.

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><p>I am well aware that the only funny part is the song but i enjoyed writing this so BLEH!<p>

YOU MAKE ME HAPPY WITH REVIEWSSSSSS SO PLEASE MAKE ME HAPPIER THAN DRACO IN A GREEN AND SILVER BALL GOWN! ;D

Seriously, review...Please?


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